United Socialist States of America
Similar to a World without Stephen, The United Socialist States of America (or USSA) is a nightmarish dystopian future in which the former United States of America has turned into a communist nation ruled with an iron fist by Comrade Chairman Barack Hussein Obama. =The Rise of a Socialist State= ''Warning! The fallowing section contains a series of current and fictional future events that may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.'' 2007-08 A Warning Ignored Before Comrade Barack Obama transformed our once noble country into a Socialist State, he had to make himself known without showing his true self. In these early days—when something could have been done about it—heroes such as Sean Hannity and Michelle Malkin saw through his visage and warned us this would happen to our nation if we elected him. But even those heroes underestimated this seemingly "dark" horse candidate. Through the use of the internets, and his almost magical ability to actually listen to what people had to say, he easily entranced millions of supporters with Left Wing Madness causing them to give all of their life savings to his presidential campaign. His grip on his sheeple was so great that they would gladly and willingly attack and harass "Counterrevolutionaries" in the name of their leader. 2008 Presidential Election This delirious fever of Obama support continued to build through election day of November 4th, 2008. Not even the excellent gunsmanship of Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin could slow the tide as she slew tens of thousands of Obama voters from her custom made helicopter. When the day was finished, the once thought impossible had happened, Brit Hume showed a human emotion (for the first time in years). Hume broke down and cried on the set of Fox and Friends over the death of America, once it had finally sunk in that Barack Hussein Obama would become President of the United States. In response, patriotic Americans could sense the dark days approaching as they stockpiled caches of firearms in response to the approaching reign of the new President-Elect. 2009 The last days of The Best President EVER! With only a few days remaining in George W. Bush's Constitution-defending Presidency, and after all hope had left that The Decider would ___ and stay in office for a third term (or indefinitely), strange occurrences began to appear as if it were an omen. Bald Eagles started falling from the sky suffering from sudden Cardiomyopathy, the bear population tripled suddenly, and the the Liberty Bell finally cracked in half, splitting the bell in two. It appeared that America had hit an all-time low. The Inauguration However saddened Real Americans felt up to that point, the darkest day actually arrived on January 20th, 2009 when then President-Elect Obama was inaugurated the President of the United States of America. The day would have been otherwise memorable if not for the inauguration, because the weather that January day in Washington D.C. was very unusual. For this day only, Washington was overcome with a freak warm spell. Temperatures rose into the upper 70's, causing animals of all sorts to wake from their winter slumber and walk about the land with a sudden sense of purpose. Blue birds chirped gaily, rabbits frolicked in the flower-blossomed meadow, it appeared as if every object that seemed dead the day previous was now infused with color and vibrancy. First year of Chairmanship The first official act of President Obama was to officially re-title the head of Executive Branch as "Chairman" instead of "President". From there President Obama Chairman Obama instituted a series of pogroms designed to boost the Democrat-sunken economy through the building of Infrastructure. Including the maintenance and expansion of Railroads, canals, Internets tubes, and other backbreaking work. No reasonable people—with the exception of Mexicans—would volunteer or do this kind of work, so Chairman Obama used this as a justification for opening America's Borders and allowing in millions of illegals . 2010 and Beyond In early 2010, Chairman Obama finally abandoned his search for the perfect hypoalergenic shelter doG. Instead the Obama's settled for a surprisingly hypoallergenic pet bear cub. While the Obama's were choosing a faithful compainion, the only companion left to the American people was Obama Recession, which continued to ravage the world well into 2010. Thus allowing Comrade Chairman Obama to globalize world economies and creating a single currency (the Ruble), and creating a New World Order. The Bible has told us that under such a unified global economic and social system will lead to the rise of the anti-christ. This will obviously lead to the rapture and the End of the world, in which Jesus will return to take all the true believers to heaven. Other changes under the Kommunisticheskaya Obama *Decreed that not only that gay people could get married, but also that only gay people could be married. *Appointed Ward Churchill and ______ to the supreme court. *Pushed a directive through the The People's Congress imposing a 50% income tax for those earning more than 20,000 руб in one year. *Animal species' populations throughout the world will triple causing Dr. Stephen Colbert's hard work in restoring the Elephant population unnoticeable. *Chairman Obama outlawed guns in the USSA, leading to a dramatic decrease in gun related deaths, but also a 800,000% increase in Bow & Arrow related deaths. *With the help of the endless throngs of homosexual sculpters available in the USSA, the Lincoln Memorial will become the Che Guevara Memorial. *Aborted Fetuses will become an instant fashion accessory (along with assless chaps) among young men. notes Will use the financial crisis as a reason to globalize nations and create a new world order. outlawing the ownership of firearms, disarm the military & replace it with his own security force, Every American to have implanted microchips or face ___, http://www.grassfire.org/111/petition.asp?PID=18751165 intends to Spread The Wealth Around http://www.moonbattery.com/ =Life in the United Socialist States of America= As one would well imagine (don't actually try this!), life in the USSA would differ drastically than living in United States as we know it today. Employment and Work Unlike today when one is blessed with the choice of which profession he (as we all know, there are only 12 jobs in which women are qualified for) wants to be employed in, this is not the case in USSA. To gain employment in the USSA, one must visit Religion Education The Audacity of Hope will be included in every K-12 curriculum. Indocrination in subjects such as Wicca and Global Warming Sports and Leisure Cuisine Language Gender Relations =Those heroes keeping the USSA from becoming reality= Although such dystopic realities once existed only in the heads of science fiction writers, many Real Americans now consider its chances just shy of inevitable. America will not go down without a fight. Her moral majority are fighting harder than ever to ensure this will never happen. Palin resurrected zombie Joseph McCarthy =See Also=